Playa Hatin

There once was a girl who settled
For a man with really no mettle
She took all his crap in the name of love
Coward? Cheater? Liar. Yes! All of the above

Finally she woke the fuck up...

Some believe in the theory that a player is not born, but rather made from hurt and betrayal. It's more likely an urban myth that helps them fall asleep at nights. It's time to face the fact that people are strange beasts who can be at times be purring and lovely, then in an instant rip out your throat.

My take is that people who are players are the most afraid of all. If you don't invest in one person, then you can't get burned. Sure there are some who like playing around because it's fun or they get bored easily. But are they really happy, or are they just trapped in a game that turned into an endless maze?

From what I know about Tasha, she would be the prime example. She was in a storybook relationship with her college sweetheart. They were together for 3 years but sometime after graduation they parted ways, and since then I presume, Tasha has been on a tear.

There's a saying in Chinese, "Nan ren but huai, nu ren bu ai," which basically translates to the commonly held idea that women love jerks. I for one prefer nice men, but tend to fall for wolves in sheep's clothing. It's hard for me to shake the belief that the better you treat someone, the less respect they have for you in the long run. Give someone complete trust and security and they will turn on you.

I have had many a discussion with Tasha about the peculiarities of our dating scene. Many stories of her escapades have been recounted but it wasn't until about a year after I'd known her that she spoke about her first love.

"He was my first real boyfriend and we always talked about getting married."
"So what happened?"
"I caught him in bed with someone. I was in Kaoshiung for the weekend and came home early to surprise him."

"Holy shit."

"They were sleeping. Finished. So, I didn't see anything."

Hearing this made me feel quite nauseous. I expected to hear her talk about how devastating it was and how it made her distrustful of men and unwilling to be hurt again.

"I don't know why, but I wasn't surprised. I was more surprised that I didn't care. I felt, shit, that's not fair. If I knew you were having fun, then I could have been having my fun the whole time!"

I almost burst out laughing. But the sick feeling in my stomach didn't ease.

When in Rome ...

Taipei is a player's haven, because it's also a major manufacturer of them. In a society where unfortunately even kindergarten kids know the Chinese term for mistress, it's rarer to know of a happy couple, neither of whom, with something going on the side. I've been here for so long that I can't tell anymore what boundaries are sometimes. It's not exclusive to here of course. There are different people of different morals everywhere in the world. But somehow it seems that in Asia, you can get away with a lot of things you wouldn't dare back home. Lack of fidelity seems the norm. But if we're just talking about pre-serious relationships, what is acceptable and what's not? If say, I'm "hanging" out with someone and go to a party with him, and then I end up making out with someone else there, is that wrong?

Well, it feel likes I live in the decadent world of Caligula. Am I going to have to toughen up in order to survive or is there a place here for a hopeless romantic like me?