"Fairy juice." Ho handed me a glass of cool green on ice. His mischievous grin matched the glint in his eye. I looked to Bond for help but there was none to be had. Glasses clinked. Gan bei!
I had accompanied my friends Bond and Ho, who were both DJs and promoters, to check out a new club. The bar was lined with bottles of absinthe, and the music was hip hop with extra cheese, but there was a fun feel to this classy joint. It was like a boys night out except that they weren't single and I was a girl. But we were getting smashed on expensive, albeit gigantic drinks, and checking out young flesh spilling out of hot pants and bikini tops. We were making lewd comments just like any other testosterone-fuelled sushi loving gang.
As Bond ordered the next round, Pam, a girl we were all acquainted with, suddenly swivelled around from the bar seat next to us. She opened her mouth to say hi but instead erupted in a sudden sob.
"What's wrong?" Immediately the boys had Pam in a protective cocoon of hugs. She explained between hiccups and sniffles that she had confronted her boyfriend with another woman moments before our arrival. The man actually had smiled at her, and said, "You can't do anything." And left.
"I don't know what to do." And with that broke into fresh tears.
"He's a prick." Said Bond.
"Just forget about him." Said Ho.
"Why didn't you smash this pitcher on his head?" I wondered, but not out loud. Instead, I offered to take Pam to the ladies room because she'd suddenly turned a shade greener than the drink we just had.
Revenge is a dish best served cold, or success is the best revenge? Those are cute but offer little comfort when your ass has been dumped. Some take the high road and hate in silence. Others go psycho, but most will take Peaches to heart and, "F**k the pain away". It depends on one's nature and the level of emotional damage suffered. Some would never allow the possibility of heartbreak. Maybe they are stronger. In defence of us romantics, the state of being in love can be the deadliest addiction.
Humans boil with electricity and chemicals, and once in a while our frequencies match with another's. You fall in love, and in that process become physically altered. A dependency occurs because you get high off this person who saturates your being with a heady mix of substances. There is no need to sleep or eat. You just can't get enough. Compound that with the psychological addiction because when it happens, you aren't even a person anymore, you're a couple.
Then one day he/she is gone. You are cut off. No more fixes. The withdrawal leaves one unable to function or cope, which is worsened by the loss of identity.
So, what are you going to do?
I was thinking about all this as I waited for Pam to finish throwing up in the stall. I wanted to help her, but the truth was, I couldn't take away her pain. (Nor did I wish to hold her hair).
Romantic love is not a magic cure all for life, nor is it even a noble state of mind. Why do we fall in love? It makes us feel something good, and gives you the idea that you are no longer alone in the world. The truth is that we are always alone because no one can inhabit our selves. Once you realize that you are alone, even together with someone, you can understand that you haven't lost anything.
This idea made me really happy and I wanted to share it with poor Pam, who had gone through one dating disaster after another. Well, she was too incoherent to communicate so I sent her off home in a cab, and decided it was time for me to go too. For the first time, after a night out, I didn't feel pathetic for going home alone. I was simply happy to be in my own company.
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