The Non-Relationship: The New Monogamy?

"I've had enough! We're gonna get you laid," my roommate Tasha promised with a wink.

The response was a disapproving frown. "I've never had a one night stand."

"Well, in that case, what you need is a nice non-relationship guy."

The non-relationship. It was the latest thing that everyone had to have: the 21st century version of monogamy, an upgrade of the sex buddy/f*** friend. A pseudo relationship if you will, where one partakes in all the "good" aspects of coupledom with someone attractive and respectable, who for whatever reason will never be "the one".

Tasha's NR manifesto as follows:

1. Be honest. You don't have to go into detail. Just keep in mind that some don't mind only an hour down time while others find it icky to even share a bar of soap.
2. Protection. It's common sense... you'd think. Here's a reminder: BABY? DISEASES?
3. Never assume how someone feels. If you want to know, have some cojones and ask.
4. Don't lie to yourself. If you can't handle suddenly being dropped, get out fast.

Before any of this sunk in, we were already at the newest hotspot. Bobby, my male counterpart in bad relationships, was already there with his co-workers. Quick introductions to a very cute young professional lead to the beginnings of a genuine conversation. As we chatted, I knew I was interested.

Could he be my NR guy? Would we be spooning two nights a week, forming a new social circle between our separate friends, and smiling mysteriously when the questions started arising about "our status"? He could be a date on retainer for parties. I'd have someone to call for frosting on my cookies. I could be remain "in like" with him and never worry about getting tangled up in love, hence no break up that would sink me in the depths of despair. Best of all, he would be thinking the exact same thing which equalled no guilt for either of us.

Imagine, all the perks without risk of emotional investment. But did I want to get involved with someone who I knew I didn't have a future with? If I really liked this person who I'd be spending more and more time with, wouldn't I end up getting attached? How would this non-relationship end when technically there was nothing to end? Would I bump into him at a random party with some hot girl? Would I forget to return his last call?

Fierce creatures like Tasha and Bobby prefer NRs. Should I take a lesson from them? Be tougher, and never get upset (live in a perpetual hash cloud). Scoff at the impracticality of romance and put everything into a career (72 hour work weeks). Are they truly so strong or did they just do too good a job at armouring their quivering hearts?

Cute boy waved his hand in front of my face and asked, "Where did you go?"

I laughed and choked a bit on my drink. Good question. Where did I go? I'd known this guy for five minutes and already we'd "not" broken up. I decided that if he didn't ask for my number, I'd give him my business card.